A BALL THROUGH A HOOP

“As you get older, you start to think about your own mortality more and more.”

“When I was younger, I really did feel invincible.”

“I use meditation as a means of preparation for death.”

 

These are just a few quotes I have heard in the past few days in regards to death. I spent a lot of time growing up reading about the Jedi, and mainly followed the career of Obi-Wan Kenobi. From his days before being selected as an apprentice to his days as a Master in his own right, he was often quoted as saying, “For as often as I have seen it- I will never get used to death.” I always found this odd as a child- how can you not get used to something you see every day?

And then I started to experience it personally.

Foolish and naive, a young Oracle struggled mightily with it, as most people do. The one thing that always helped get me through tough times however was basketball. Things were always so much simpler when all I had to do was put a ball through a hole.

It was not always like that of course. When presented with death sometimes I was able to remain stoic, other times I was not as fortunate.

Way back in 2008 my best friend stopped by my job to get something to eat. Having finished for the day, my boss let me go shoot in the gym. The side goals were lowered for the various summer camps.

“I bet, if we play on that goal, I could beat you,” he told me. Bobby was the farthest thing from athletic, so I thought he was joking. He was adamant that he was not. After all, it never stopped him from hanging with me and the other athletes.

I took full advantage of the lowered goal and dunked on the poor boy over and over again.

Shortly after not only did he die, but the boss who granted me early release did too.

My first days of college went on a downhill spiral after that. Still playing all my basketball at lifetime, I was driving long distances just to play when Gstate had a newly renovated REC center. When I finally did decide to step foot in the REC I met Tahji Williams. The runs worked differently at Gstate than they did at lifetime, and Taj was one of the first people to put me on game, and even let me run with him when I did not know anyone else who would let me.

The isolation did not last long, as after a few jumpers validated my game, I never had problems finding who had next or who had “down” again. I made some of the best memories of my life in the REC, and it was because of Taj that I was able to do so. Many years later, all I have to do is repost one intramural championship picture to incite a string of memorable comments of a much simpler time.

I, much like the rest of the world, was mortified with the terrible accident that took the life of Kobe Bryant and several other passengers. I resolved to play basketball as hard as I could the very next opportunity I got. It brought some comfort.

I got a call from my brother P last Friday to pull up to a local middle school to get some shots up. When I arrived I was presented with a double rim; enemy of most, but to me an old friend. I grew up having only a bent double rim to play on.

The next hour was filled with nostalgia. Having to account for the wind when shooting, nearly getting a concussion from the ball flying through the large hole in the net that was barely hanging on, and adjusting to feel of an outdoor ball.

Just having received word that DMX was lost to his recent aliments, simply putting a ball through a hole was right on time.

Satisfied with what was done, I returned home fully expecting to shoot lights out the next day at the gym. But I received another call instead.

Tahji had been found shot dead in a park.

It seemed as though everything started to hit me at once. Many lives were lost in 2020, and Taj was not the first friend I have had die.

I showed up to the gym the next morning hardly having slept, but fully expecting to play well since, all I had to do was put a ball in a basket.

I missed every shot I took that day.

Usually pretty stoic (at least externally) in the face of death, it was at that point I nearly broke down. How many times had I thought about my own mortality? I certainly was not aging backwards, not to mention my dog or those around me.

And now here I was with the one thing I always found relief in adding more stress.

I was able to pull myself together eventually since, I have had many days where I have not made a shot when there has not been an awful tragedy to navigate. And with the resolve to play better the next time, I was able to find a temporary respite.

So much has happened in the past year, and still, basketball was there for me.

I realize this article may be all over the place with the point I am trying to make, so let me simply to this:

Do something nice for the person next to you today, as you never know what tomorrow looks like.

-        4.16.21, The Oracle